I want you to give me all the things you could not. I want to give you all the things you cannot accept.

I think I must have been a cheater in a past life.

but also I’m only really attracted to weirdos

This is just a blog about how much I love loving. & how sometimes it doesn’t work. & all of the experiences that come with caring for different types of people.

I asked you to not let me get attached to you if you felt like this wasn’t going anywhere. More so than any guy over the last 5 years you’ve shown respect, care & generosity that I didn’t even ask for. You showed value & friendship.

You are now an entirely different person & speaking with you feels like pulling teeth. I will not try to be around if you don’t want me to be around. I don’t deserve to be crying like this. I’m angry. I drove to fucking New Mexico for you & while the experience was great. You really fucking hurt me, you blame it on your issues. I blame it on you. You’ve told yourself it’s valid to be selfish in your own pain. Well it’s fucking not, I beat myself up every time my own mental shit gets in the way or could even hurt anyone. I don’t like this version of you. It’s confusing & not cute. Sometimes I was so excited to see through all the plans we were making but wow. Sad but angry. I’ll stomp my feet for awhile, maybe even cry for awhile but. I am not trying anymore. Thank you for teaching me something new. I don’t have the patience to hurt.

You’re a tiny shark

You’re a learning experience

You’re a tiny shark

You were good

1moneychaserworld-deactivated20

Soulmate friendships are indeed very real

I think you’re one of my favorite people on the planet. It’s so much about you. The first time I ever met you, you made fun of me. I was on a date & I liked you more than him. I didn’t know you’d become a regular in my life.

The first night he was here I felt guilty. He held me & I remembered how comfortable I felt laying on your chest for the first time. I looked at my stupid self in the mirror across from my bed & dropped it.

In caring for my own heart, I should stop thinking so often of men who rarely think of me. Or who rarely have time for me.

27. This is how you love you.

How dare I be so sad about you & so happy about him.

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